More Than Thanksgiving

I started to write a semi-long status on my facebook, then just decided that I should go ahead and update my blog instead. ;)

For the last couple of months, the "theme" of my life has seemed to be having an attitude of gratitude, even when and especially when things are not going my way. There was one week especially, where one thing after another was going awry. That was actually kind of the beginning of the lesson. It was like God dropped me in "Thanksgiving Bootcamp" (in October!) and said, "Okay Ella, how do you handle this?" Talk about a pop quiz! When He and I got things in a perspective I could handle, nothing could steal my joy. It was probably one of my worst weeks, especially in my performance at work, but it was by far one of the best weeks I've ever had! And since then the lesson has continued to work itself into my life. Going deeper and deeper, learning details.

One of the "details" has been this absolute conviction of my materialism. I recognize this tendency to go to "retail therapy" to make me feel better. It's crazy how quietly the attitude can creep in, right down to the thoughts like: "I just need one more pair of leggings and then my wardrobe will be complete and I won't need anything else." Really Ella?? The lesson has come just in time too! With Christmas right around the corner, having the concept of "things don't satisfy, only I, the Great I Am, can satisfy you" has made the season less stressful. Don't worry, I'm still giving gifts. ;) We'll just say that the focus in my life has changed. Before, with the expense of moving to Colorado looming and possibly having to pay a $400-$500 deductible on my car, would have had me stressing about gifts. Now? No. God provides just the same and the gifts this year will be far more thought put into them than ever before.

You may be wondering about the deductible on my car comment. The night before Thanksgiving, I was driving home from another store that I'd filled in at that day, when I was rear-ended. Those crazy East Lansing drivers. :-P She hit me pretty hard, hard enough to pick my ipod up 6 inches and toss it into the backseat and knock my glasses all the way across the car. BUT! The good out of it, is I narrowly missed hitting the car in front of me and going out into traffic (all while driving pretty blind!) and managed to get stopped and not go hysterical. haha. I also think that I'm safe from whiplash, though I'm going to see a chiropractor on Thursday to make sure. Praise God! However, be praying. I was in shock, so when the gal only gave me a first name and a phone number, I didn't question it and I didn't call the cops right that moment. I did talk to an officer and get the report filed. Just be praying that the girl was legit and we can track her down. Otherwise, the $400 dollar deductible is up to me.

Today has been a fantastic day though! Up early to hear my 6-yr old niece speak in front of her whole school and she did amaaaazing! I'm so proud of those kids and so incredibly blessed that I get to be their Auntie! Got a bunch of errands accomplished, including getting a quote on my car. They said is about 75% to just totaling the car and the quote wasn't complete yet. Poor Reggie. :/ But a new-to-me car wouldn't be a horrible thing either. ;) Either way, we will praise! Got to enjoy lunch with my Momma and an impromptu movie! Arthur Christmas may very well be my new favorite Christmas movie. :) And then snow started and my winter hat came out. This is very exciting to me. Annnnd now? A cozy home and the first wearing of my Serbia slipper-socks. Oh yessss.

Tea+Blanket+Journal+Bible

=Everything this girl could need. And God keeps reminding me of that. Well, the Bible and journal (where I record all God-things) that is to say. :)

I can't even explain it all. It's funny to me, 'cause it seems like I should already know that under pressure is where the most growth happens, but I forget that about 90% of the time. I struggle with the right words. I want you to know just how much God is doing in my life, but I feel as though explaining everything would take a year. Let's just say that God has definitely got my face in His hands and we've been having some deep conversations, about life, relationship, beauty, passion, true love, sacrifice of self and right focus. This month has been full of memories. A year ago, I was in my third week of DTS, living in London and discovering all sorts of things. This month has also been full of all sorts of new growth opportunities, some I've willing jumped at and others I've gone into kicking and screaming, some I've failed epically at and others I've had victory in. Thankfully it's not about winning and loosing. It's about the relationship. It's really cool to see, since last year, the depth that God and I have reached.

Enough of my ramblings. :) Update time! God has given my family a home church. I've begun helping in Wednesday kids' services, which I love! I've also become a part of a life group and that has been so incredibly good. I have started filling out my application for FCM (Foundations for Counseling Ministry). It begins April 5th in Colorado Springs. It's really exciting to be mentally gearing up for another school! It's also a little scary. Yet another opportunity for growth. :) My birthday was this month and now I'm another year older. I'm also working my way through my photography class and loving it. Those are really the big news items currently. :)

"Obtaining earthly ease is not primarily why God shifts our lives around. All God does in our lives and everywhere He leads us has one overarching purpose, which is to deepen our relationship with Him and to further His glory through us." -Lydia Brownback

I highly reccomend the devotional "Contentment: A Godly Woman's Adornment" by Lydia Brownback. A short and sweet book, full of little treasures.

Until next time.

The Stranger In the Seat Across From You

I'm not sure what made him approach me or even sit in the seat across from me, but I'm so glad he did. The brief conversation that followed kinda hit me upside the head. My eyes are now open a little wider.

I was sitting in the cafe at Whole Foods, waiting for a friend who was working. I had my laptop up and was in my own little world, watching a movie and just not interacting with anyone, when a gentleman approached me. He was older, probably late sixties, with hair white as my porcelain skin. ;) Now as I think back on it, I don't know where he came from, he just appeared seemingly from nowhere. I looked up when he asked me a question and the conversation started on an innocent "What's so entertaining on that laptop?" After asking me about HP and whether I had any Apple products, he sat down in the chair across from me. At first I was thinking, "What are you doing? You're kind of creeping me out. You should leave." Then, a thought occurred to me, "What if this guy was plopped down in front of me for a reason?" With a quick prayer shot heavenward, I let God guide the conversation. In five minutes, we discussed photography as a ministry, the work in Serbia, bad people and people who are "good" but still in need of a Savior, and whether all people need a Savior. At the end of five minutes, he got up, shook my hand, told me it was nice to meet me. As he was walking away I got up quickly and stopped him, introduced myself as Ella and learned his name is Ray. I have absolutely no idea how everything was arranged just so for me to meet Ray today, or what he believes on spiritual matters. I do know that he likes Apple products and for whatever reason, needed to have that specific conversation with me today. I also know that I need to stop being so wrapped up in my own world, but that even when I am, God will plop a stranger in the seat across from me to hear what God wants him to hear. Who's the stranger in the seat across from you? What are you doing about it?

Let My Conviction Match My Passion

This past week has been so filled with God moments.

I got to have breakfast with my parents and unofficial godfather Wednesday morning. At one point, Dave, who is quite blunt and will tell you the truth and nothing but the truth, made the comment, "The damn government can pay me 'cause I sure have paid the damn government." He makes me laugh every time I see him. However, this is a godly man, who gets on his knees daily, and I know for a fact, prays for me daily. When he prayed over us at the end of the meal, it was the simplest prayer that began with "Dear Holy Spirit, help me pray. I prayed for the Purtells this morning..." He asked only one thing for us, but in the end, there was not a dry eye left in the room.

I didn't have many of those still, peaceful moments with God, as the week progressed, but that by no means, stopped God from showing up. I felt like every time I turned around, God was revealing new things to me, whether it was an epiphany that would seem mundane to most everyone else, or if it was a heart attitude that did not belong. (I have this picture in my mind of God holding up two photos and saying "Now Ella, what does not belong?") I found myself thinking about conviction and compromise quite a bit. How many seeds of compromise have I allowed? How many of them have taken root? What do my every day choices, from movies to music to food choices, say about me? I don't want any of it, the crap. My cousin and I were flashed by cops (we weren't doing anything!), using their spotlight and let me tell you, it is a bright light. That's what I want God to do with those seeds; turn His mega light on them. Let my conviction match my passion.

The week of course, was not all seriousness and deep thoughts. :) There were weddings, beautiful brides, fun family moments and new friends. I watched a childhood friend marry Monday night and definitely came close to tears. I got to help my cousin prepare for her wedding and then watch her walk down the aisle to her adoring (now) husband. Definitely some tears of joy there. I got to hang out with cousins I rarely see and joke around about silly things. I met new people with whom I had an absolute blast! I bowled a 64 this week (no judgement!) and got hit by a pool ball. No damage though, I assure you. I think this week will be one of those weeks that will stay with me for a long time to come. Many sweet memories were made and crazy times were had.

There will be new photos soon. I'm also working on a photography website... hopefull that will be up in the next 3 weeks or so. Thanks for reading my rambles. :)

"Words. They Fail Me."

So many words. So very many stories. So many good things to share. And yet, I don't know quite what to say. I feel as though that is how I always begin my blogs, with a lack and overabundance of words. It makes me think of my dear friend Jody, who always says, "Words. They fail me." I never understand that saying, so much as I do when I begin a blog.

I suppose I should begin with one of the most exciting things and that is, I have my camera! A couple of weeks ago, my little sister Tabitha came for a visit and the very first day of her time here, we made a family trip down to Sears and I handed over quite a chunk of cash to a very happy salesman and walked out with the camera I've been dreaming about for MONTHS. Tabitha and I immediately set to work, practicing with the camera and capturing the marvelous addition on film, so to speak. One such photo is the one here, of me and Chuck, my new love. There is only one "man" for me currently. We are quite close, he and I. Tomorrow, I'm taking my two oldest nieces down to East Lansing and they are going to be my models. I'm rather excited!

This summer has been full and will continue to be so. It's been work and visits, right and left. My sainted boss has quite marvelously put up with these trips I have (mostly for family things) and I'm so blessed in that. This summer has seen me in Virginia, my little sister here and will see me in Idaho and Kansas City.



These are all from the trip to Virginia with mom, my sister and the kiddos. :)















In the last month or so, I've found myself struggling. Coming home from such a spiritual high is hard enough, but coming home to very few friends and no church home, just proliferated things. I know with my head, why it is I came back to the states and back here specifically, however, that doesn't always stop the struggle. I've had moments of feeling useless and alone. But God has spoken quite clearly, that even if nothing is "accomplished" here in this time, by my obedience, I have made Him happy, which is all that I need. Hey, I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm learning. ;)

I did not intend for this to be such a book, but I guess that's what happens when I neglect to post for such a long time. Let me leave you with a thought that's been brewing in my head for the last couple of days. Humbleness is not an overinflated ego, but neither is it a lower than dirt self-concept. Humbleness is knowing who you truly are and accepting that, flaws, as well as good. It is seeing you as God sees you. :)

All The Little Things

Saturday, I was in Horrock's, a local farm to market store that I absolutely adore. I had just finish telling my Mom, "I would really like a guy to give me flowers. I don't necessarily want a guy in my life right this moment, but I still want a man to give me flowers." This was incited by all the beautiful roses and freesia and such around me. We laughed and then headed over to the check out counter. After paying for our wonderful goodies (say hello to a fridge full of fruit and veg!), we headed out the door. At the door, there was an older gentleman, probably in his late 70s with a grocery cart full of roses sitting next to him. As we walked by, he handed us both a rose and gave us a "Good day!" and a big smile. It amazes me how God takes care of even the "little things". He saw my heart's desire, knew the joy a simple rose would bring and bestowed it upon me through a kindly gentleman. A man to give me flowers. :)

I bought a devotional recently and all the entries center on contentment and learning how to be content. Within the first few entries, I already feel like I've grown quite a bit. I've learned that trust is what leads to contentment, also that contentment is not what you have to have if you can't have happiness. That probably was my biggest revelation. I can even be happy in the rough, dark times, not just take the consolation prize of "contentment". So in the past week, my awareness of the little things God gives me has heightened and thus my joy has increased. There's a situation that a lot of stress has been put upon me, but when I started looking specifically for God's gifts, my attitude increased and while the stress remains the same, I'm okay. It blows my mind the way He sets these things up. The details that have gone into it! Like the other day... Just recently two new stores were added to our area at work and I called for updates to the other stores. I ended up talking to a guy who crazily enough had worked at a ministry I'm familiar with and actually knows my best friend's big sister. It ended up being a really refreshing conversation, that I didn't even realize how much I needed, until I was in it. The crazy thing was, during that time, no customers came into either store, as well as his store was brand new to our area and he's got a brand new job, so he won't be there much longer. The chances are of us "running" into each other like that? Extraordinary! But not to a God who loves me. :)

Failure Is Not An Option

I began working out in earnest 3 weeks ago. It's been a challenge and yet such a good thing, because the workouts are scheduled for me. I don't have to think about it, but it also means I can't flake out. I'm noticing a difference in my body. Something the trainer said in a couple of the workouts really stuck with me and that is "Failure is not an option." I think I've always viewed getting healthy and other important areas in my life as though failure were an option and not a completely horrible option at that. But I have a new motto. :) I'm getting ready to finish my first round of a program called Body Gospel, then I'm going to start P90X, which is a pretty popular program and has seen lots of results. I'm really excited about that!

Well, the point of my blog has never been to be completely deep introspective posts that sometimes verge on the dark. As it seems that's all I've been posting for the past month, it's definitely time for a look on the bright side!


The other night, my niece stayed over and we did all sorts of girly stuff. We went and got "coffee", rented movies and bought snacks. Then we came home and watched said movie, ate said snacks, painted our nails and put our hair up in curlers. Can I just tell you that I absolutely love being an Auntie? It's all of the fun. As I don't want children for multiple years (not to mention the whole being married thing, lol), this is definitely the best "fix" in the world. I'm a fan. :)

I finally managed to get the last of my DTS photos onto my computer. Soon I will finish editing and then I will put some of my favorites here. :)