Bittersweet Endings

I am tired. My body is telling me that it is 1:05, but my brain sees 12:05 and tells me I cannot go to sleep just yet. Words brew in my head and I feel the need to write them down. So here I find myself, sitting in front of my computer, a cup of lemonade to my right and a sleeping dog to my left.

The past few weeks have been full of emotional ups and downs. I'm incredibly excited for this school I'm starting April 5th, but I'm also dreading the leaving, not to mention life as we know it in Michigan. In the next two weeks, I need to seriously sort through all of my stuff and get rid of a lot of excess. Then I need to decide what to take and what to pack into boxes. I don't know exactly why, but that is the instructions I have from God. I do not know if He will have me stay in Colorado, or go someplace completely different, or come back here and this is just a trust exercise. But I want to be found faithful in the little things. This is the first time, that I truly feel like after this step, I have no direction. That may not seem like a big deal to you, after all, it's 6 months out, but it's a big deal to me. It's scary. It's exciting. And it's got my stomach tied up in knots at times. This and other things are teaching me peace that passes understanding. Setting my face like flint. Living my life for an Audience of One, not simply an audience. It is not what the audience thinks of me that determines who I am, but what the Audience of One thinks.

The next two and a half weeks will be filled with goodbyes and lasts. Those are so bittersweet. Every time I leave someplace, it seems as though, the last two weeks are always the best two weeks spent in that place. Why is that? What causes that phenomenon? I don't have an answer, but I'll keep thinking. So here I go. Bittersweet Endings.